Habits
by shattered petal
Summary: Love was his to hold at the most ruinous point in his life. [AU] -Eren/Annie; Levi/Mikasa
1. End Game

"Human beings are funny. They long to be with the person they love but refuse to admit it openly. Some are afraid to show even the slightest sign of affection because of fear. Fear that their feelings may not be recognised, or even worse, _returned_. But one thing about human beings that puzzles me the most is their conscious effort to be connected with the object of their affection even if it kills them slowly inside." –– **Sigmund Freud**.

* * *

**Title**: Habits  
**Genres**: Romance/Drama  
**Rating**: T  
**Couple(s)**: Eren/Annie; Levi/Mikasa

* * *

Habits  
**Chapter 1.**

* * *

Eren realised he had made a mistake.

The floor above him was loud; people were shouting and screaming, delusional and drugged from alcohol and cannabis. It was frightening, but he had been victim to worse. Dropping his heavy bag to the floor, he glanced between the two beds available. Neither looked comfortable. His roommate hadn't arrived yet, so he stole the bed nearest to the window. Whipping open the moth-eaten curtains, Eren watched the rain slam against the glass; it was a harsh wind tonight.

Before he arrived, they asked for his reasons for being here. A silly question –– Eren's _reasons_ were more than clear. Never had he been _subtle_ with his emotions, and vengeance ran strong in his blood. His heart was exhausted from the amount of anger that had rushed through him for so many years. Finally, he found release; the opportunity to _fight_. Eren's reasons for being here were solely personal.

Unpacking what little belongings he possessed, he expected to spend the evening alone, until he heard a knock at the door. A familiar face entered and he smiled, 'Mikasa! Have you settled in all right?'

'Yes. _God_, Eren, it's _freezing_ in here,' his friend replied, stepping inside.

'Ah–– I suppose it is.'

'I guess you've never felt the cold.' Wrapping her arms around herself, Mikasa raised her gaze upwards at the loud noises. 'Good to know you've also had a friendly welcome.'

Eren cringed. 'So, the female barracks aren't quieter?'

'I wish. I bet everything I own that I won't be sleeping tonight.' Sitting on the bed opposite, Mikasa shuffled backwards to rest against the wall. 'Do you have a roommate?'

'No. I don't know. He hasn't arrived, anyway. What about you?'

'Her stuff is here, but I haven't seen her.' Mikasa averted her gaze to the small table between the beds. A funny feelings swelled within her when she spotted a photograph, ripped at the edges and fading. It belonged to Eren. A photograph of their mother and father. How they remembered them, or _wanted_ to remember them: a happy couple, a happy family, full of so much joy and naïvety. Before this war started. This _massacre_.

Eren made no effort to hide the photograph from view. 'I miss them.'

'So do I,' she admitted. 'But, something tells me no one around here is going to care. Your roommate might be a little snarky if they saw the photograph.'

'He'll just have to deal with it, then.'

'Right. Well, I'm not saving your behind if he threatens you. People around here are pretty sensitive about personal loss.'

'I can look after myself!' Eren replied. 'It's not like I'm going to be rubbing the photograph in his face.' Picking the photo up, he sighed. 'Anyway, it's _mine_. If he doesn't want it around, then he's going to have a damn good reason why not.'

Mikasa shrugged, and stood to her feet. 'Don't say I didn't warn you.' He looked at her and smiled knowingly. 'I should head back.'

Eren let her leave, but just before she opened the door, he swivelled around on his heel and asked: 'You're with me on this, right? You don't think this is a mistake, do you?'

Mikasa's usually tense shoulders dropped slightly. 'I'm always with you, Eren. Don't start doubting what we're doing _now_ of all times. You were the one insisting we do this.'

'I know. I just need to be sure.'

Yet all she offered was a nod, a short smile, and left.

Alone, Eren slowly sat on the bed, photograph still in hand. He hadn't thought about his mother's death in weeks –– he couldn't. Not out of fear or sadness; he wasn't sure _why_. It was as if his mind had automatically blocked the memory out, some sort of self-defence. A protection for his fragile head. But that didn't mean he ever forgot why he was so _driven_ to become a soldier, to fight and _win_. It was a passion that had stuck with him; one he couldn't get rid of. However, passion could be torturous, _addictive_. Dangerous.

The moment he stepped off the vehicle, the moment his feet touched the sandy ground, he knew there wasn't any turning back. There wasn't any return. They signed in him, and didn't even smile or thank him for joining. It was a little sick how they made the recruits line up, form a queue, sign themselves down for death. They were all just human waste. They would be sported with uniform, an identity, but they were just "others". None of them would be remembered individually; they were simply pathetic pawns believing they were doing _good_.

No wonder he hadn't been welcomed. Welcomed to what? _Hell_.

Mikasa was with him, though. At least _someone_ would remember him. They hadn't needed to discuss _death_. Both were aware of their awaiting fates. It was only a matter of time until one of them _slipped away_. However, Eren was ready. He was ready to step out of the walls, and give his life. He wanted to die doing something he had strived to do for years. He wanted to die avenging his mother, and those closest to him who were brutally murdered.

When he finally slipped into bed, his back pressing into the piercing springs, he realised he hadn't made a mistake. This was the _right_ thing to do. Pulling the sheet over his body, he shivered, and for the first time felt the cold.

Like every other night for the past five years –– since the passing of his mother –– Eren didn't sleep well.

* * *

It was early. Far too early. A horrible, obnoxious siren wailed in the halls. Eren fell out of bed, and grabbed his trousers and shirt. The bed next to him was still empty. His roommate hadn't arrived yet, but Eren had no time to think. He rushed out of his room, accidentally colliding into a meaty boy who pushed him back, his cronies snorting at the attack. A spark of anger rushed through Eren, but he was wise to ignore the emotion, and followed all of the boys outside.

The rain had stopped from last night, but there wasn't any sun. Just a grey sky. The training grounds called for them, and Eren lined up with the others. He searched for Mikasa, and spotted her with a crowd of girls, who were also lined up, waiting for orders from their sergeant. Eren felt a rush, and he shuddered unexpectedly. It was their first day, and he was already trembling with adrenaline. When their sergeant arrived, Eren instantly saluted with everyone else.

What came out of the sergeant's mouth was nothing short of poison. 'It took you all more than fucking _seven minutes_ to get your lazy asses out of bed! I swear, if this happens tomorrow, you're all going to wish you'd have been shot dead years ago. You know, when I look at all of you, I see nothing but _waste_. You may _think_ you're something by signing up, but you ain't shit! By the time I'm finished with you you'll be vomiting your own insides; you'll be pissing blood and eating the crap from my boots.'

The sergeant stormed over towards Eren's section, but Eren didn't stumble or show any signs of fear. He wasn't afraid. He wanted the sergeant to look at him so he could stare right back. But when he did, Eren inhaled sharply. He didn't know how he missed it before. The sergeant was missing an eye, but he had made no effort to hide his ugly wound. His eyelid covered the empty hole, but it was swollen and inflamed, too heavy to open. A horrid scar was across one side of his face and he had a permanent scowl.

'Most of you will be scared of death, and you know what? I _want_ you to be scared of death. Right now, that's the only thing you wimps are capable of doing! Being _scared_. None of you are ready for what awaits you out there –– you'll all be running away with your tail between your legs. Each of you can forget the names your precious mommas gave you –– you won't be needing them here! Here you don't have an identity, a soul, or memories from your bright, beautiful, _revolting _past. It's _over_, sweethearts. The merry days where you were children and picking daisies has gone; _it never happened_. Your loved ones never happened –– you will forget your family, like they will forget you. Once you're a soldier, you don't look back. No one sheds a tear here.'

A disturbing silence filled the training grounds, and the sergeant found his first victim. A boy, relatively small, who seemed to be trembling from where Eren was standing. The sergeant reached out and ripped a necklace from the boy's throat.

'If I see any of you sulky brats carrying around an item that _means_ something to you,' he scoffed, 'I'll first have it crushed––' Effortlessly, the sergeant clenched his hand around the necklace, and in seconds it broke. '––And then I'll have you feeling nothing but humiliation for the next week. Oi, brat,' he turned to the boy again, 'I have a job for you: the toilets aren't as shiny here as they are back home. You'll be the one cleaning the shit after us. With a toothbrush. Don't like it? No problem, kiddo. You can wipe it all away with your _tongue_.'

No one spoke, not even the boy, who quietly whimpered. Eren swallowed, but continued to look straight onwards. It was clear: no fair game was played. Everyone was everyone's toy. Kill, or be killed. Survival of the fittest. A man-eat-man world.

'What do you all think you're doing? Move those backs of yours! I'll have you running around like scared, little girls for the next three hours. Go, go, _fucking go_!'

No one needed to be told twice. Instantly the crowd of recruits obeyed. While they ran, Eren felt numb, and his head was spinning with so many thoughts he didn't know how to react. Yet, strangely, he was happy. He was _okay_ with what was happening. This was what he wanted; he didn't want to live the illusion that everything was perfect and harmonious. After what he had witnessed, nothing would ever be the same again.

Eren didn't stop running until his stomach caved in.

* * *

'Are you feeling any better?'

The soup or mush or whatever his food was didn't look appetising. Eren gulped. 'Sort of.'

Mikasa was smarter than him, and ate her meal, even if is tasted like water. She had to keep her energy up for training in a couple of hours. Their timetables had been handed to them, and Eren was relieved that they only had cardio for three hours every morning. What perked his interest, though, was the martial-arts; self-defence. Maybe he'd be able to specialise in that more so than with the cardio. Clearly he didn't do so well in that area.

The other recruits were disturbingly quiet –– in fact, Eren only heard one boy talking. Rubbing his temple, he looked over to Mikasa. 'My roommate still hasn't arrived. I'm starting to think he called it quits before he got here.'

'Maybe.'

'What else would you do, though? Training to become a soldier is the most honourable way to go.'

Mikasa didn't feel as strongly as Eren did, but she understood him. She was there when Eren decided what he was going to do; she was there when tears were streaming down his cheeks, fire burning in his eyes, threatening their enemy from miles away that he was going to kill them. All of them. That he, himself, would end this war.

'There _are_ other options as well, Eren. Who do you think feeds the town, or makes our weapons and uniforms? If it weren't for farmers, merchants or doctors –– anything along those lines, you probably wouldn't be here.'

'It just sounds like a free pass to avoid death. A coward's way out.'

'That's not fair, Eren.'

'Isn't it? Mikasa, I didn't join the army for the fun of it. I joined because I wanted to fight, and I don't understand how anyone else wouldn't want to either.'

'Eren, lower your voice,' Mikasa hushed, suddenly aware several recruits were listening in on their conversation.

'Why? It's the truth. I'm willing to give my life in order to save hundreds, and everyone else here should feel the same. For the record, not everyone here has seen what I've seen –– what _we've_ seen. The way they kill people; what they did to our _mother_––'

'Stop it!' Mikasa kicked him under the table.

'_Ow_! What the––?'

'You have a temper, Eren. Control it for once. People can hear you, and...' She paused, then lowered her voice to a whisper, '...not everyone agrees with you.'

Eren didn't reply. Instead he looked around him, now consciously aware that they had a small audience. Some recruits looked shocked and insulted, while others stared at him, hatred clear in their expressions. Eren felt his ears burn in embarrassment, but he couldn't believe he was being looked at like this, when his argument was _reasonable_.

For Mikasa's sake, though, he tried his best to ignore the rage building within him. 'Sorry.'

'No, no. I want to hear the _rest_ of what you have to say.'

Eren whipped around, and saw a dark-haired, short-statured, but well built male looking down on him. He had shadows under his eyes, and his thoughts were clear by his expression. Whoever this man was, he didn't appear impressed, but he wasn't willing to sit around and let Eren talk as he pleased. Slowly, Eren stood to his feet, and was proud he was a couple of inches taller, but their differences in height was barely noticeable. Or relevant.

From the corner of his eye, he noticed Mikasa watching the other male intently. If he tried anything funny, she wouldn't hesitate to give him a piece of her mind.

'... I think I've said everything.'

The shorter male raised a brow. 'Really? Oh. That's a shame.'

Eren frowned, and clenched a fist. This boy was mocking him. 'What?'

'I've seen your type before: full of confidence at first, but once they're challenged, they back down. You have the audacity to insult everyone here, while you don't even have the courage to speak when _approached_.'

'I wasn't insulting anyone!' Eren retorted. The mess hall was completely silent, and all faces had turned to them.

The shorter male snorted, and rolled his eyes. 'That temper of yours won't get you anywhere, brat. It only makes you appear weaker.'

'You don't know anything about me or what I've been through!'

'True, but you're equally as ignorant about everyone else here.'

Eren wanted to walk away –– he wasn't sure whether to feel humiliation or anger, but his rage was certainly winning. Shaking, he struggled to form words, 'What do you want?'

'You're the one _wanting_, kid. Wanting everything for yourself. That's all I heard while you were speaking to your miss.'

Kid? Eren glanced the male up-and-down, hating him. 'Leave me be,' he said, voice quieter.

At first, it looked as if the man was considering it, but he didn't move. Instead, he folded his arms, expression blunt. His tone lacked emotion. 'Is that how you're going to respond to everyone who approaches you? You won't last long if that's your behaviour towards the enemy.'

Eren turned his back to him, and was about to sit down, when the boy added.

'Your mother would be very disappointed.'

Something snapped. It was ugly and monstrous. Eren didn't even realise what he was doing until it was much too late. He swung his fist at the other boy, but he caught it, quickly sending his knee into Eren's stomach. Eren yelped, but tried to hit him with his other fist, without much success. In seconds, Eren was flat on his back, after receiving a punch to the face. Nose bleeding, he sat upright, trying to stand.

A dirty boot smacked him on the chin, and he went flying backwards. He could taste blood in his mouth, and the wind was blown out of him when the other male stomped his foot onto his chest. 'You should know better than to attack your superiors, you waste of sperm.'

Eren could barely understand what he was saying. Inhaling heavily, he raised his head, and was unable to defend himself when the man was about to kick him again. However, before he was able to, a feminine, yet strong hand grabbed his arm and yanked him off Eren. 'Stop this; it's not going to solve anything!'

_Mikasa!_ Ignoring how much agony he was in, Eren shot to his feet, prepared to beat his "superior" if he dared hurt her. However, the shorter male hadn't moved. He looked at Mikasa for a second, then pulled his arm out of her grip. He turned his attention back to Eren again. 'Be grateful you have at least _one_ friend around here. If it weren't for her, I would have crushed every bone in your body.'

Eren swallowed what was mostly blood, and choked, falling to his knees. Mikasa hurried over, placing a hand on his shoulder, and raising his chin to inspect his face properly. 'Eren, are you okay?'

'Yeah...' Eren glanced to where the man stood, but he was gone. Wiping the blood dripping from his lips, he slowly stood to his feet and let Mikasa take him back to the barracks.

* * *

In less than an hour, he and Mikasa had to return to the training grounds in order to practise their martial-arts. Fortunately, thanks to the help of Mikasa, Eren was mostly cleaned up from the incident he had with his superior officer. His lower lip was a little swollen, and his chest still hurt, but he was able to walk around fine.

Applying a plaster to a cut on his face, Mikasa said, 'He acted so out of hand, Eren. Superior officer or not, he shouldn't have done this to you.'

'And he said _I _had anger problems! I wonder who he was.'

'Well, I guess you'll find out sooner or later.'

'Hey,' he said, 'Thanks for stopping him. If it weren't for you, I don't think he would have stopped.'

Mikasa smiled shortly, but lowered her gaze. 'I've always been protecting you whenever you end up in trouble. But, for our sakes, maybe you could _try_ and handle that anger of yours. You know what problems it leads you into. I don't want anyone beating the shit out of you when I'm not around, otherwise you wouldn't last.'

'Come on, I can defend myself.'

'Like you did with that guy? I _know_.'

Eren didn't appreciate the sarcasm. 'We should be getting to the training grounds.'

'Can you stand?'

Wincing, Eren slowly stood to his feet. It felt as if his stomach was bruised from the inside, and it was difficult to breathe, but–– 'A little beating isn't going to stop me. Let's go.'

Slightly unconvinced, Mikasa made no comment, and together they set off.

* * *

Once they were given their orders, Eren and Mikasa were forced to separate with different partners. Eren was paired with someone around his height, but who lacked a great deal of knowledge when it came to sparring. He managed to have the boy flat on his back in less than a minute, however his sergeant barely noticed. Helping the boy up, he realised he had accidentally wounded his nose, causing it to bleed. 'Ah, sorry. I suppose I got too far ahead of myself.'

'It's okay. I just need to practise, is all.' Their gaze met, and the boy smiled. 'I'm Armin –– I know it's none of my business, but I saw you get beaten up by Corporal Levi. Are you all right?'

'Oh, _that_? It was nothing. I'm fi–– Wait, he was Corporal Levi?'

'Yeah. Apparently he's been transferred back inside the wall, even though he's usually outside of it on the front line. I don't know why, though. Do you know him?'

'No –– I've _heard_ of him.' Eren remembered Levi's expression; how he looked when he swung his fist at him, how he was so _unnerved_ by Eren's behaviour. That was a face of a man who had seen horrors. The sight of a boy losing his temper was a joke. Eren wondered if Levi would be laughing about this later on, with his friends. Some stupid recruit getting angry over nothing, and then getting the shit beat out of him.

Armin seemed to be rather sympathetic about the situation. 'If it helps, I think you were brave. Approaching him like that, I mean.'

'Really?'

'Yeah. I don't think anyone around here has the guts to approach their commanding officer like that.'

Eren decided to not mention he didn't know Levi was his superior, until now. Rubbing the back of his head, he forced a smile. 'Thanks. He wasn't that scary, to be honest. If he were to grow a couple more inches, then he _might_ be a _bit_ intimidating.'

That earned a snort from Armin, but their discussion was interrupted when their sergeant spotted them "idling". After receiving several harsh insults, Eren was dragged away from Armin onto the other side of the training ground. Three boys and a girl there, and two of the boys were on their stomachs, moaning in pain. 'This is pathetic,' the sergeant muttered. 'You call yourselves _men_ when you got pummelled by a _girl_. Tsk.' Spitting at their feet, he turned his attention to the girl, who looked so bored Eren wondered if something was wrong with her. 'Don't look so cocky. If you're not careful, I'll make sure my finest men will crush one of your _lungs_.'

It then occurred to Eren she _was_ bored, and the least appreciative of her sergeant's threats. However, she didn't respond.

'For all I care, those _pip-squeaks_ were just weak. I doubt you'll be able to swing a punch at anyone with some muscle. Oi, you!' Horrified, Eren realised he was being spoken to. 'Why don't you show her what I'm talking about? Get that wimpy expression off your face, and act like you got a pair.'

'Yes, sir,' Eren murmured, stepping forwards. The girl was petite, with a slim frame, her blonde hair tied back. From appearances, she didn't seem very strong, and it was a miracle she managed to pin those two boys down. 'Okay then,' he said, 'Show me your wor––' Eren was suddenly cut off, and he thought he was flying for a moment, until he crashed horribly into the hard ground. His shoulder dislocated and he yelled loud, agonising pain shooting from his shoulder to all over his body.

What in the _world_? Holding his wounded arm, he scrambled to his feet and glared at her. He didn't even see her _move_.

'How did you do that?' Eren demanded, before wincing.

'If you want, I can show you again,' she dead-paned.

'No!'

'You asked me to show you my worst. That wasn't my worst. I don't want to leave you disappointed.'

This was a joke to her. Eren scowled. 'Fine. Go ahead. Let's see.'

_Mistake_. Arm floppy at his side, Eren tried to tackle her, but somehow she flipped him over her shoulder, making him smack back onto the ground. _Fuck_. Eren rolled over onto his back, and stared up at the sky in disbelief. That wasn't possible. How could a _recruit_ know a move like that? She barely moved; she didn't even give him the opportunity to attack her.

Raising himself, he tried to avoid the sergeant's fuming expression. Before he dealt with Eren, he turned to the girl. Looking up at him, she said, 'Am I done now?'

Eren was expecting him to scold her, but it seemed the sergeant was having trouble with what to say. It wasn't just Eren who was in shock then. 'Maybe you are.' Without another word, he stormed away in search of other recruits to assess.

Before she, too, could leave, Eren finally found his feet and hurried over to her. 'Wait, wait. Where did you learn that? And _how_?'

Stopping, she turned to him. In a way, she almost looked _flattered_, but more fascinated by his questions. 'My father taught me.'

'Can you teach me?'

Clearly this request was completely new to her. Frowning lightly, she hesitated, then shrugged. 'I suppose I can.' Glancing at his limp arm, she suggested, 'You should probably get that looked at.'

'Yeah,' he muttered, 'Thanks. I swear I am better at combat –– I'm just having a rough day.'

'I saw the Corporal throwing you around.'

'I'm pretty sure everyone did. He liked to make sure the entire mess hall was watching. Attention-seeking.'

'And you're not? From the looks of it, you seemed pretty content on everyone hearing you.'

She had him there. 'At least I didn't back out of the fight.'

'A fight involves _both_ parties to attack, not just one –– you must have forgotten that.'

'... I was going easy on him.'

'Right.'

Eren winced again. The arm in his pain was beginning to get a little too much. 'So –– _are_ you going to teach me some of your techniques?'

'I can do, but, this time, your girlfriend can't come along to save your behind.'

'She's not my girlfriend. She's my sister. And _fine_, fine.' The tips of his ears burned in embarrassment. 'At least I can put up a fight, right?'

'Not really,' she said bluntly, watching him while he tried to adjust his dislocated arm into a comfortable position. 'Here.' Stepping forwards, Eren thought she was going to help him, but as soon as she grabbed his arm he realised _just what she was going to do_.

'Oh, God, you don't have to––' _Crack!_ Nothing in his life had hurt so damn much. Gaping wide, Eren did well to keep in the scream that was building its way up. Frozen in place, he wasn't able to thank her or even look at her. '... ow...'

'I'll see you tomorrow, then,' she said, and he spotted a small smile reaching her lips. It had quite an effect on her usual bored, hard-to-read expression. Before he could say a word, she turned around and left.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Eren released a loud, pained exhale, collapsing to his knees. Nursing his tender arm, he heard footsteps approaching and was expecting to see the sergeant glaring down at him. However, he was in for a pleasant surprise. Undamaged and not a scrape on her to be found, Mikasa only had one thing to say.

'You're pathetic.'

'She's not even human!' He retorted. 'Ow...'

Kneeling down to his level, Mikasa inspected his arm for a moment, 'There's something odd about her. She arrived back to our room very late last night, and left extremely early. I don't know if she's got another life somewhere.'

'... She's the roommate?'

'Yes,' Mikasa caught his gaze. 'If you want, I can make her regret hurting you.'

Eren snorted. 'No, I'm all right. I'll get her tomorrow.'

Mikasa rolled her eyes. 'Of course you will.' Helping him to his feet, she added, 'Her name's Annie, and, from what I can tell, she keeps very much to herself.'

Nodding, Eren stretched out his arm. 'Well, I can only hope the person I'm sharing my room with isn't anything like her.' Beat and exhausted, he was very tempted to leave the training grounds and head for bed. 'Great first day,' he muttered, 'I got beaten up by some snobby superior, and then a girl broke me.' He pulled a face. 'Brilliant.'

* * *

**author's note**: Hello! Thank you for reading the first chapter. I wanted to highlight that I know the war happening in this story isn't very clear right now, but I've planned it so that more and more is revealed as the story progresses. This is an **alternative universe**, but I have _loosely_ followed some aspects of the series, and tried my best with keeping the characterisation as accurate as possible. Considering this is my _first_ story on the SnK series, I do lack a _lot_ of confidence. After finishing chapter two, I felt a little better posting this story, so, if you can, please leave some **feedback**. I'd love to know your thoughts. Keep in mind I do have a busy schedule offline, so updates **won't be as fast** as I'd like them to be. However, I am very keen on writing this story, so shan't give it up.


	2. Valeguard

Habits  
**Chapter 2.**

* * *

The mess hall was loud and chaotic this morning. Eren grabbed his bowl of what was apparently porridge, and searched for a seat. Unfortunately, Mikasa's training tended to clash with the times he was on lunch break, so Eren was alone. However he spotted a familiar figure sitting by herself, and hurried over. 'Mind if I sit with you?'

Annie glanced up at him. 'I do.'

'Great.' Eren sat down, and began to tuck in. 'I'll be amazed if this stuff is actually edible.'

'If it wasn't, I doubt you'd still be walking around –– by the way you scoff it down, you'd be dead in seconds.'

Eren pulled a face. 'Okay, I get the _act_ you have going on here, but surely you don't dislike me _that_ much? I mean, we barely know each other.'

'Exactly.'

'Maybe we should change that?'

'Maybe not.'

Snorting, Eren dipped his spoon into the porridge and ate in silence. He scanned his eyes over the room, hoping to find someone he might recognise. He diverted his attention to a couple of people having a conversation behind him. They were discussing the war –– how much they _hated_ the enemy, but knew they didn't stand a chance against them. Eren looked at his food, and suddenly wasn't hungry anymore.

Apparently Annie had noticed. 'You're sensitive.'

It wasn't an insult. More, an observation. 'I care about what people think. The reasons why I'm fighting in this war matter to me, and... I struggle to understand how anyone would be here if they aren't as passionate as I am.'

'What makes you think they're not?'

Eren shrugged. 'They're doubting themselves.'

'You're one to talk.'

'I don't doubt myself,' Eren quickly replied.

Annie narrowed her brows. 'You asked me yesterday if I could teach you some of my techniques. That sounded as if you were doubting yourself. You doubt what you know.'

'Fine. I don't doubt what I'm_ doing_, then. I had to watch those men –– those _animals_ –– destroy everything that I loved. All I have left is Mikasa. But once we're out on the frontline, fighting, I may lose her too. I _know_ I want my revenge. What are you doing here, if you don't want revenge?'

Wisely, Annie dodged the question. 'You and Mikasa don't look alike in order to be siblings.'

'She's my adoptive sister. We aren't biologically related.'

For once, Annie actually looked _interested_. 'She was adopted by your parents?'

'Yes. How I found her was... well, it wasn't _nice_. Mikasa has had it rough. Rougher than me. Fortunately, my father was there at the scene and took her in. Wait–– Why am I telling you all of this, when you refuse to answer my question?'

'I didn't _refuse_. I just didn't answer.'

'Then answer it.'

Annie didn't respond straightaway. She watched Eren intensely for a moment, and the male started to feel a little self-conscious. Annie's eyes were such a faint blue, almost ghostly, and while she was good at covering her emotions, her eyes betrayed her. Clearly, Eren's question made Annie feel uncomfortable.

At first, he thought she wouldn't reply. He was proved wrong, though.

'Family tradition. For years, each generation of my family has enrolled in the army. My father was expecting a boy, of course, but had me instead. Even so, he didn't let that stop him from forcing me to become a soldier.'

'So, you're here unwillingly?'

'I'm here for the same reason everyone else is.' Standing to her feet, Annie grabbed her empty bowl and met his gaze. 'And so are you, Jaegar.' Before Eren could reply, Annie walked away, leaving the boy to ponder.

Despite what she said, Eren was unconvinced. Annie was hiding something, but he couldn't fathom what it was. That girl was peculiar; full of mysteries, and he was determined to find out more about her. That would have to wait, though. Eren had training in ten minutes. Engorging as much porridge as he could, Eren exited the mess hall, and onto the training grounds.

After training (which consisted of some sparring and cardio), Eren was soaked with sweat and sore all over. Taking a quick, cold shower, he then pulled on a shirt and trousers before heading out. The sun had already set, and it was nearly time for him to meet Annie. Maybe then he would be able to ask her a couple more questions. On his way to the sparring halls, he nearly collided into Armin, the boy he met yesterday.

'Oh, hey! Are you going somewhere?'

'Yes. Just to do a little more training with someone.'

Armin nodded. 'I wanted to see you, actually. A couple of guys from my barracks invited me for a couple of drinks. Um, personally, I'm not really a drinker, so was hoping someone like you could come with me. It'll be fun, though!'

Would it? Eren wasn't so sure, but he couldn't turn down the offer. 'I'd love to. Meet me outside the sparring hall at nine. We'll go together.'

'Thanks. See you then!'

Eren continued his short journey, and once he finally arrived at the training hall, he was both pleased and surprised to find it empty. Annie was already here, and she wasted no time in order to get started. 'Why don't you show me a little of what you know? If you know anything at all.'

'Har har.' Eren got into the appropriate stance, and was pleased Annie had left herself wide open for him to attack. She was going to go easy on him. After figuring out where to hit her, he zoomed forwards, and was about to perform an axe-kick, but was cut-off. Maybe it shouldn't come to his surprise that Annie had dodged out of the way, and sent her foot into his back.

Falling heavily onto his stomach, Eren smacked his nose into the ground. 'Ow! Give–– Give me a _chance_,' he complained, struggling to his feet.

'_They_ won't give you a chance to attack.'

'Yeah, but you're not _them_,' Eren scowled.

'You're too tense.'

'It's hard not to be when I'm looking at you.'

Dropping her arms to her sides, Annie ignored his comment. 'You need to stay calm. Panicking and worrying all the time will only cause mistakes.'

'I'm not panicking or worrying. I'm just––' _Panicking and worrying_. Eren was not calm whenever he fought, and he was constantly thinking over and over again about what he needed to do. 'How do I stay calm, then?'

'That's not something I can make you do. You're in charge of your emotions, so you figure it out.'

'You're a great teacher.'

'Thank you.'

Inhaling and exhaling slowly, Eren followed her advice, and tried to stay calm. He relaxed his tense muscles, attempting to feel at ease with himself. _To stop thinking_. He needed to stop thinking about the war, the enemy, _his mother_. Annie was right: his emotions were getting in the way. Once he was ready, Eren tried the move again, and this time he fended himself when she attacked him back.

For a couple of seconds, the sparring continued, and Eren was successful when it came to blocking her moves or dodging out of the way. But as soon as it was his turn to attack, he failed. Eren tried to kick her in the side, but left his chest wide open. He was slower than her, and so she speedily sent her foot into his stomach, kicking him backwards. Before Eren could straighten himself, Annie sent her fist to one side of his face, before simply pushing him over.

Effortlessly, Eren collapsed.

'We have a lot of work to do,' she said, ignoring his moans of pain.

For the next hour, Eren had Annie teach him while making him perform, and by the end he was not only exhausted, but bleeding, sweating and bruised. Today had been _awful_. Annie's training was even more tiresome than his _actual_ training.

'You've improved a little, so don't look disappointed.'

'A _little_?' Eren gasped, wiping a hand over his forehead. 'I can do better than this.'

'I never said you'll learn fast. It takes time.'

'Yeah, right.' Eren sat on the floor, catching his breath. 'I bet you learnt in just a couple of weeks.'

Annie rolled her eyes. 'I've been learning since I was able to walk. My father didn't waste any time in getting me prepared.'

'Good man. At least he knows what his child really needs.' Eren wasn't sure why, but he instantly regretted his words. Avoiding Annie's gaze, he remembered he was meant to be meeting Armin soon. 'I have to go. Maybe we can do this another time.'

'Maybe. If I'm available, I'll teach you some more.'

'If you're _available_? Why, do you have other recruits to teach?'

Annie snorted. 'No, because no one is as desperate as you.' Just as she said that, the hall lights suddenly went out, and the two were left in darkness.

'I think someone switched off the lights.'

Refraining from slapping her forehead at the idiocy of this _idiot_, Annie went over to flick on the light switch again. Nothing happened. 'The power's out. Perfect.'

'Are you serious?'

Annie then realised that the door to the sparring hall had an automatic lock. It was electronic. Before she even tried pulling at the door, she knew they were locked inside. Annie tried to kick it down, but without much luck. 'Shit.'

'Let me try.'

'Go ahead.' Annie moved out of the way.

Eren braced himself, and then charged for the door, slamming his side into it. _Thump_! Gasping in pain, he slowly retreated from the locked door, holding his wounded arm.

'That was a tough moment for you, Jaegar,' Annie said, her smile hidden from the lack of light.

Ignoring her, Eren moodily slumped to the ground. 'Why is the power out?'

'... You honestly expect me to know that?' Sighing, Annie turned to where she guessed he was sitting, and lightly kicked him. 'Come on. We can kill time by sparring.'

'There isn't any light.'

'Look, you're the one who's eager to get on the front line. You'll be in the dark more times than not out there, so you might as well take this opportunity.'

Considering this for a moment, Eren then nodded and stood. 'Fine. Let's––' The recruit collapsed when Annie sent her foot into his side. Groaning, Eren rolled onto his back. '––I think I'm dying.'

'Good. That means you're doing it right.'

'I'm not doing anything. You're the one who's _doing_ something. I'm just your dummy to tackle.'

That was when he heard her laugh for the first time. It was a pleasant sound, and while it didn't last long, he felt an odd fluttering inside him. A warmth he hadn't embraced before. He loved the sound of her laugh. It was so... _unlike_ her. Almost angelic; sweet. Maybe the expression she wore daily was a mask, after all.

Only someone _very_ special would be able to witness her without it.

Turning his head, he saw Annie's figure slightly in the darkness, and sensed her sit beside him. They were in silence for quite a while, before he broke it. 'Where's your father now?'

'He's a soldier, too.'

'On the frontline?'

A pause. 'I think so.' Another pause. 'What happened to your mother?'

Eren swallowed. 'The valegaurds killed her.'

'I haven't heard many people refer to them as that.'

'It's the way they dress. Completely in black, their faces covered. You'd think they were a bunch of worthless gangsters, but they're ridiculously powerful. This war they started–– it was greed, and now thousands of people have died because of them. Half of the earth's population is dead. More than that, even. Wall Maria got destroyed–– they managed to get more of those powerful weapons, and killed everyone in my hometown. Everyone I knew –– aside from Mikasa –– died. My mother...' Eren clenched a fist. 'They raped her, and then murdered her.'

Annie said nothing. Eren had no idea what she was thinking, but he didn't care. All he was aware of was the anger bubbling inside him, dangerously beginning to explode.

'They're not human anymore, Annie. Whatever made them human was lost long ago. You don't just murder hundreds of innocent people because you have the power –– no human being in their right mind would do that. And... what they do to the _bodies_, afterwards. Eating them would be less disgusting. For all I know they now have my mother's head hanging from a piece of string...' Eren trailed off, and scrunched his eyes closed. 'I want revenge, because I _saw_ what they are like. I saw the valeguards and I saw what they did to my own mother.'

Sitting upright, Eren tried to control his trembling body.

'I'm how I am because... of what I _saw_. No other soldier here witnessed what I had seen. So, the only reason I have to live is in order to fight, and I'd die proudly while fighting.' He peered over his shoulder to look at her. 'Wouldn't you?'

'Yes.'

Just then, the lights flickered back on. Eren felt slightly disappointed –– this conversation he was having with Annie was almost reassuring. While his words had even disturbed him, he had wanted to talk to someone about it for a long time. In a way, he felt as if Annie would understand. Whatever mysteries she was hiding, it didn't matter. She was on his side, and she was going to be fighting with him, so she would understand.

Eren was grateful that Annie acted as if nothing had happened. 'You can leave now,' she said, gesturing towards the door. 'I'll offer some more sparring tips tomorrow.'

He nodded, and smiled. 'Thanks.'

* * *

Even though the house party was delayed due to the suspension of power, Eren went with Armin to the hall where it was taking place. Alcohol was served along with drugs, and Eren was only able to decipher the cannabis. Wisely, he refused the cannabis but agreed to share some alcohol with a reluctant Armin. The room was filled with mainly boys and a couple of girls. Within a few hours, most of the guests were drunk, lost in a world they would rather live in.

It was clear what they were doing –– running away from the truth. That, soon, they would be on the front line and fighting against men with weapons more powerful than theirs. Eren had heard so many stories about how people had died when faced with the valeguards. Some were burnt alive, others were exploded from the inside, some people's heads were bashed in. The gruesome list went on and Eren knew he would be a victim one day, like everyone else here.

Slightly tipsy, Armin turned to Eren, 'So why are you fighting?'

Eren had downed more liquor than Armin and was quite the lightweight. Most of what he said was slurred, 'Fer all t'e hot shicks...'

Armin cringed. 'I think you've had a bit too many.'

'Aw no, I 'aven't even 'ad _one_.'

Realising what Eren was referring to, Armin was about to help the poor guy out of the room, but was pushed aside. Before he could do anything, Eren was dragged away by a couple of boys and led into the centre of the room. A game was about to be performed, and Eren was the only player. A game of truth or dare, and the rules were rather silly.

If Eren could down four pints of cider, then he would get a dare. If not, then a truth.

'Drink, drink, drink, drink!' The entire room chorused, and Eren obeyed, drinking as much as he could, until he violently vomited everywhere after his second pint. There were a few 'Oooohs!' from the crowd, and, instantly, one of the boys exclaimed, '_Truth_! Give us a _truth_!' His friend pulled him by the collar and whispered something into his ear, which the boy repeated loudly, 'Which girl's panties do you want to get into, Jaegar? There's no avoiding the question; you gotta answer!'

Eren laughed, and slumped over slightly, vomit dripping from his chin. 'I liike Leonhurrrrrr...' Eren fell forwards, and crashed into the table.

'Who...?'

'Ah, crap!' Armin hurried over and rolled Eren onto his back to make sure he hadn't hurt himself. To his relief, he hadn't, but Eren was now in a deep sleep. 'You've got to be kidding me... Hey, can someone help me take him to his room?'

Not to his surprise, no one heard him, so Armin was stuck with dragging Eren out of the room and towards his barracks. On the way, he spotted someone and called out, asking for his help. Whoever he was, he seemed preoccupied with something, until now. Armin was shocked to discover this someone was actually Corporal Levi.

'Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean to––'

'I'll take him. You can go back to whatever you were doing,' Levi said, grabbing Eren's arm and slinging it over his shoulders.

'Actually, I don't mind coming with you––'

'I'm fine. Go away.'

Deciding to not argue, Armin remained put and watched Levi take Eren away.

Arriving at Eren's door, Levi kicked it open and threw the useless flop onto his bed. Closing the door behind him, he removed his jacket and hung it on the door hanger. The noise from upstairs was incredibly loud and Levi knew he wouldn't be getting much sleep –– if any –– tonight. As soon as he was out of the wall, the better.

Sitting on the edge of the other bed, Levi kicked off his shoes and neatly placed them together under the bed. Looking over at Eren, he muttered to himself, 'You'd better get your act together, kiddo. No recruit lasts long if they get drunk every night.' Leaning over, Levi flicked off the light, and settled into bed. Unlike Eren, he didn't sleep.

* * *

**author's note**: There shall be more of Levi in the next chapter, and his reasons for being here will be revealed as well. Oh and, yes, poor Eren is stuck with having Levi as his roommate until Levi is transferred to outside the wall again.  
Some background to this story has cropped up in this chapter. Admittedly, I really struggled thinking of a name for "the enemy". When I was little, I knew someone who was sometimes referred to as "valeguard" online (a pen-name). So, I thought I would go ahead with that name. It isn't the opponent's _official_ name, but it's what Eren and some others refer to them as. Of course more shall be explained in future chapters, but I don't want everything to be revealed in one chapter. Mystery and plot-twists are what I love teasing my readers with, so you'll have to bare with me.

Hopefully all of the characters seemed in character. Sorry there isn't any Mikasa in this chapter, but she and Levi are not the _main_ characters to the story (although they are important to it). I'm interested to know what you think of my characterisations so far, particularly with Eren and Annie. Both are pretty difficult to write about –– Annie especially –– but I adore a challenge, and they're such fascinating characters. They all are, to be honest.

**unblockabletree4**: Thank you so much for your meaty review. I always love it when readers take the time to write such lengthy reviews; it means a lot. re: 3D Manoeuvre Gear. Even though this story is an alternative universe, I still want to remain faithful to the canon-verse (otherwise I might as well just rename the characters and it would be an original story). I shan't reveal much, but, yes, the 3D Manoeuvre Gear shall be used in this story. It might just be for Titan-killing in SnK, but I think I can twist it a little so it can be used on humans as well.

**[ Guest (1) ]**: I'm glad my writing style is easy to follow. That's something I'm mainly self-conscious about, so I do appreciate you telling me this. I look forward to developing the relationship between Levi and Mikasa too. While I don't necessarily ship the two with anyone in the canon-verse, I wanted to give them a go in this story. Hopefully I'll be able to pull it off well.

**gaberr**: Keeping Mikasa in character was tricky, at first. I really want to give her justice. In the next chapter, I fear I might have pushed her characterisation, but we shall see. Thank you very much for reviewing, and I'm really happy you think Mikasa is in character.

**JanieZ**: Thank you for reviewing!

**[ Cyborg ]**: Nope, definitely not a one-shot. Cheers for reviewing!

**Vaegterstang**: Don't worry. I was iffy about having a war-scenario as well, but hopefully I'll be able to pull it off without making it too similar to the canon-verse. re: military treatment. I agree; I felt the recruits were pushed way too much in SnK. It just didn't seem realistic to me (although the reason I love SnK is mainly _for this reason_. I adore war/apocalypse scenarios etc.). Personally, I wasn't aware I was making the training less aggressive in my writing. I didn't want to bog down into it too much, because the training is not completely relevant to the story. Like in this chapter, I only referenced what the training involved for Eren. But, looking at the first chapter now, I do see and agree with what you mean. I'm happy you approve, though! Thank you so much for offering such wonderful feedback. Hopefully this chapter has left you satisfied too. -crosses fingers-

**[ Guest (2) ]**: Cheers for reviewing! More shall be revealed on the war and its origins in later chapters.


	3. Attempts

Habits  
**Chapter 3.**

* * *

It was the first and last hangover Eren would suffer. Head pounding, vision blurry and dizzy, he slowly sat upright. The sun glared in through the curtained window, and he moaned, collapsing onto the pillow again. Just to make things worse, the siren went off within the halls, and the clamber of boots and running boomed in his sensitive ears. Eren knew he had to get up, even if he was feeling like shit. Rolling onto his side, he reached over to grab his shoes, only to slip off the bed completely.

Smacking his head onto the floorboard, Eren scowled, now angry for some reason. Probably with himself, he wasn't sure. What a stupid thing to do: getting drunk! What sort of _idiot_ did that? Hoping to _God_ he hadn't said anything embarrassing last night that he now couldn't remember, Eren carefully walked out of the room and, not to his surprise, was the last person onto the training grounds.

The sergeant was the least bit impressed. 'You think you're special, do ya?'

'No, sir,' Eren mumbled.

'Straighten those shoulders, you worthless shrimp! What makes you think you can take your sweet ass time, eh? Your momma might have spoiled you rotten, but over here we treat you like you _deserve_ to be treated. Like the dirt you are!' Before Eren could brace himself, the sergeant strode behind him and pulled back his shoulders roughly. 'Now, because Jaegar here thinks he's so special, _all of you_ will be running laps for the next hour! That means you all have an extra hour of training. Off you go! _Go_!'

Forcing his legs to move, Eren tried to keep up with the rest, and was pushed aside by a couple of angry recruits. Maybe he deserved that. He was the one who had put them all in this position. Already he was beginning to feel awfully sick. Thankfully, a familiar and friendly face slowed her pace in order to talk to him. 'What's wrong with you?'

Glancing over at Mikasa, he realised she, too, wasn't very happy. 'I...'

'You're still drunk,' she stated, gaping a little in disgust.

'Don't tell anyone,' he pleaded.

'I won't need to. It's obvious enough.'

And for the next hour, Eren was in for a torturous exercise, his head heavy, eyelids refusing to open, close to vomiting and Mikasa berating him with quick comments every now and again. Eren was shoved once more by a passing runner, but this shove was a lot more violent than the others. He tripped over his feet and fell flat on his face. Mikasa had no choice but to run off without him, and Eren felt humiliated and furious as several recruits chortled at the sight.

On cue, the sergeant tugged him up by the collar. 'Get up, momma's boy.'

Eren was pushed forwards and accidentally collided into a running recruit. He was expecting a curse or death threat, but was met with silence. Eren didn't have to _look_ to see who it was. 'You know what's funny about you?' He murmured. 'I can _feel_ you judging me.'

'I'm just comforted you can hold your liquor so well, Jaegar,' Annie responded, under her breath.

'I didn't drink much.'

She nodded. 'Yes, I know.'

'... That's not funny. Urgh. I'm going to die.'

'If you do, do it quietly please. You've caused enough of a stir as it is.' Without another word, Annie quickened her pace, leaving Eren to trail behind.

Eren pulled a face after her. What had he done in order for her to give him such an attitude? So, he had a little bit of fun last night. That didn't mean Mikasa and Annie had to raise their noses. Eren knew they would be chatting and laughing about it later tonight, considering they were roommates. _Women_. Finally, the hour passed, and Eren was close to collapsing.

Sweat dripped off his forehead and his uniform was soaked, but it wasn't due to the heat. Eren was beginning to catch a fever, but there wasn't anything he could do to excuse himself. _I came here to fucking __**fight**__, not get ill, dammit_! Next time he met Armin, he would punch that blond in the jaw. It was his fault this had happened.

Once everyone lined up again, Eren waited for the sergeant to give his next orders, but was in for a shock. Instead of the sergeant, a short, black-haired male approached them. He was dressed in a slightly different uniform from the rest –– the difference was the logo on his chest, and the jacket he wore. A green jacket, and a logo which looked like sworded-wings. Narrowing his brows, Eren thought he recognised the man.

Then it clicked.

_Corporal Levi!_ _The asshole who beat me senseless_.

Levi didn't speak for a moment. His dark, heavy-lidded eyes scanned the recruits then he raised his hand and gestured towards a recruit to step forwards. Eren's heart skipped a beat when he saw it was Mikasa he called over. Barely offering a glance to her, Levi took off his jacket, and revealed several straps wrapped around his firm chest.

'What do you know about the 3D Manoeuvre Gear, Ackerman?'

Eren hadn't a clue what Levi was talking about, but, to his relief, Mikasa had an idea. 'It's a recent development. An attempt to quicken one's movements without the enemy targeting on you.'

As if she hadn't said a word, Levi threw the straps her way, which she caught. 'Put them on. Smith, I trust you have the equipment ready.' The sergeant nodded, and pointed a few metres away. Two strong bars had been stabbed into the ground, and two wires were loosely hanging from the top. Levi faced the recruits again. 'You –– you're up.'

Next was a boy who Eren didn't recognise. He, too, was passed the same straps to tie his body in. Once they were on, everyone was ordered to follow Mikasa, the boy and Levi towards the two bars. When Levi faced the crowd again, he didn't appear very enthusiastic. Almost bored for what was about to come.

'3D Manoeuvre is anything _but_ fun. Ackerman was right: it is an _attempt_ to quicken one's movements. When I say _attempt_, I mean only a select_ few_ of you will be able to master this.' Levi clicked his fingers and the sergeant pushed the boy towards the bar. Clipping the dangling wires to the straps around his hips, it was suddenly clear what Levi was trying to show. 'You require a clear mind in order to perform this correctly.'

Levi turned to the boy and watched while he tried to keep himself upright, his feet off the ground. The straps and wires tensed under his weight, and the boy was starting to panic, incapable of balancing mid-air. He yelped suddenly, and went backwards, slamming his head into the ground. To Eren's horror, the boy didn't try to raise himself. He had been knocked unconscious, and was left to hang. Levi didn't bother helping him up.

Not at all phased by the sight, Levi spoke again. 'If you can't do something as basic as this, then consider yourself out. I do not have the patience to _teach_. This is an innate skill. Ackerman.'

Eren held his breath when the boy was taken out of the straps by the sergeant and dragged away. Once Mikasa was in place, Eren was scared she wouldn't be able to do it. However, she didn't even sway. As soon as her feet were lifted from the ground, Mikasa was still. The wires didn't move, and neither did she. Levi wasn't impressed, or surprised. He wasn't anything.

'Some of you may be able to handle this. Others won't. If you're determined, you can keep trying.' Levi glanced away. 'One's determination, however, has usually led to his death.'

Mikasa was removed from the straps and ordered away by the sergeant. Eren queued up with the others, and tried to grab Mikasa's attention, but she was blocked from view. It was clear Mikasa was going to be transferred to Levi's division, wherever that was. He remembered Armin saying it was odd why Levi was back inside the wall. His position was outside of it.

_He's here to introduce the 3D Manoeuvre. He's gathering more soldiers._ The only reason Levi would need more soldiers, was because so many had died. They needed more soldiers, and fast. The recruits who were naturally skilled with the 3D Manoeuvre would be given special treatment. Mikasa was one of the first. If Eren didn't succeed, then they would be separated. Probably forever.

'Jaegar.'

Eren jumped in surprise, and swiftly turned to the voice. It was Levi. 'Sir?'

'You are not fit for this.' He gestured for Eren to leave.

Eren widened his eyes. 'I am!'

'You aren't sober yet.' Levi squinted his eyes. 'You are not fit for this if you intend to spend your nights drinking.'

'I don't spend my nights_ drinking_!'

Clearly Eren wasn't moving. Levi grabbed him by the scruff of his collar and dragged him out of the line, before shoving him to the ground. 'Say good bye to your friend. She, along with several other successful recruits, will be training with me.'

Furious, Eren stood to his feet. 'You've got to give me a chance. Let me prove my––'

'You _did_ prove yourself,' Levi snapped. Silence. Eren stiffened, but glared at the man, _hating_ him. 'I've seen your kind before, Jaegar. You like to talk. But once you put your words into action, you can't handle it.'

'... Let me _try_.'

'No.'

'Why not?'

Levi snorted. 'You are disturbed from your past. Ackerman is capable of ignoring what has scarred her, but you aren't.' He paused, allowing that to sink in. 'I don't have time for welps who aren't _able_ to move on.' Levi then produced a slightly ripped, old photograph from his pocket.

It was Eren's. The photograph of his mother and father. The one which _should_ be in his room.

'This belongs to you, doesn't it?'

Eren didn't reply.

'I thought so.' Levi brought another hand to the photo, and ripped it in half. Then again. And then again. The tiny pieces fluttered out of his palm and onto the ground. 'Get out of my sight.'

Rage flashed in Eren's eyes and, more than anything, he wanted to tackle Levi to the ground and _pull out_ his damn jaw. But he refrained himself. Clenched fists shaking, Eren watched Levi walk away to assess the recruits practising the Manoeuvre Gear. He remained put for the next four hours, hearing the recruits which had failed and which hadn't (which was barely any).

Finally, when the training ground was empty, and Eren was alone, the boy looked up at the sky. It was dark, the stars were out, and he hated how _beautiful_ the sight was.

Certain he was alone, Eren parted his lips and screamed at the top of his lungs.

* * *

Mikasa was worried. From afar, she had watched Levi say something to Eren which clearly upset him. Whatever it was, she had a vague idea. There was a reason why Eren didn't face the bars himself and prove himself he was good with the 3D Manoeuvre Gear. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Mikasa wondered if she could approach Levi and encourage him to give Eren the opportunity to try. As long as enough time was given, he would be able to do it.

Plus, they had made a pact to one another: whatever happened, they would never leave each other's side.

The door opened, and she turned to who had entered. 'You're never here at this hour,' she said.

'I'll be out of your way soon,' Annie said, barely acknowledging her presence. Mikasa was silent while she watched the blonde open her chest of drawers. She wasn't able to see what Annie was searching or doing in there, but after several seconds, Annie seemed to have found what she needed, and shoved it into her pocket. Then she closed the drawer.

'You managed the Manoeuvre Gear, didn't you?'

Annie still didn't look at her. 'Yes.' She pulled off her jacket.

'What do you do every night? You're never here.'

'Why does it matter to you?' Surprisingly, Annie's voice wasn't threatening. It was calm; there was such a lack of emotion in it, Mikasa felt a little annoyed.

'Because people who act like you do are usually ones held with suspicion.'

Annie then looked at her. 'I train a lot of the time, Ackerman. If you honestly feel _uncomfortable_ about how I spend my day, then this clearly isn't the place for you. If you want to feel safe and secure, then find a more _domestic_ career.'

At once, Mikasa stood to her feet. 'Who are you to advise me on how I should pursue my future? Unlike you, I have a _clear_ reason for fighting. You're always bored, and act as if you don't want to be here. What are your reasons for fighting, if you have any?'

Annie frowned at her. 'That's exactly what that Jaegar kid asked me.'

'Eren?' Mikasa cocked a brow. 'Since when have you two been talking?'

'A couple of days. If we're going to be discussing one's reasons for being here, then I can say with confidence his reasons are irrational.'

'Don't talk about him like that! You don't know what he's _seen_.' Mikasa shot her arm out, and grabbed Annie by the shoulder, pulling her back.

Instantly, Annie sent her elbow into the other's girl's face. Mikasa quickly swerved out-of-the-way, letting Annie go. However, before she could brace herself, Annie sent her foot into the girl's side, causing Mikasa to slam into the bed. 'I know what he's seen, Ackerman.' Annie snatched her jacket. 'So have many others.' Approaching the door, she opened it and added: 'What you've witnessed doesn't make you special.' Reluctantly, Mikasa let her leave.

When the girl left, Mikasa scrambled to her feet, and rubbed her sore arm. Thankfully, she didn't suffer a temper like Eren did, and was able to control her rage. But she wasn't the type to let _anyone_ get away with hurting her. Annie had made a terrible mistake. Mikasa pulled on her jacket and stormed out of the room.

She had no intention to follow Annie.

* * *

"_Whatever happens, treat everyone like your enemy. Trust no one."_

* * *

The sight annoyed her. It was odd that Eren not trying _annoyed_ her. They barely knew one another, and it wasn't as if Annie held him in high esteem. Still, he was the only person who was patient with her. Currently, Eren sat where she last saw him. In the training grounds alone, disappointed and upset that Levi didn't give him a chance at trying out the 3D Manoeuvre Gear. If anything, that would _encourage_ Annie to try.

Or had Eren's spirit been crushed that much?

Annie walked over towards the lone boy, and was tempted to roll her eyes at his smile. Eren chuckled at the situation. 'I never took you as the type to search for company.'

'I'm not. Do you remember we made arrangements for more training tonight?'

The smile fell. 'Shit!'

'We still have time,' Annie said, and was about to walk away, when Eren stopped her.

'You passed, didn't you? With the 3D Manoeuvre?'

Annie looked at him. 'Yes.'

'Oh...' Eren lowered his gaze to the floor. 'You're going to be in Levi's squad, then?'

'I never said that.'

'You have the skills he wants. I'd take that opportunity in a second.'

'That doesn't surprise me.'

'Why don't you?'

Annie sighed impatiently. 'The training hasn't ended yet, Jaegar. I might fail.'

'I doubt it. You're wasting your time here. You should already be out on the front line with Mikasa.'

Not very experienced with compliments, Annie tried her best to shrug off his words. 'Are you coming? If not, I'll go.' Even so, she kind of hated and loved the strange, fluttering sensation in her chest. Eren thought highly of her.

'Wait!' Eren stood to his feet. 'Let's go. You're going to be nice to me this time, right?'

'Not likely.'

And, of course, the training offered by Annie was the least bit _kind_. Still, by the end, she insisted that he had improved somewhat. Even more bruised than last night, Eren ran his hands down his sweaty face and tried to catch his breath. 'Are you looking forward to the shooting range tomorrow? I've never shot a gun properly before. Or _touched_ one for that matter.'

Annie hadn't forgotten about the shooting range, and she was the least concerned. Fortunately, her father had taught her a long time ago what she needed to know. Glancing over at Eren, she had a strange hunch that he would struggle. It was a shame. For someone who was so determined, Eren was one of the recruits struggling the most.

_His reasons are irrational_. What she said to Mikasa –– she meant it, but she didn't phrase her sentence correctly. While Eren had a _reason_ to be here, he wasn't thinking straight. He was literally drowning in his anger, blinded by his fury and rage. His reasons for being here were irrational because he hadn't properly _thought_ about it. Eren simply lunged into joining the army. He wanted revenge. That was all he wanted, but how was that rational?

How could one think clearly if they were swimming in hatred constantly?

Levi knew about Eren's anger problems, which was one of the reasons he didn't offer Eren a chance with the 3D Manoeuvre. If she were in Levi's position, she would do the same thing. In fact, handing over a _gun _to him sounded reckless to her. Eren needed to find out a way to control his anger. If he wasn't able to control it, then she didn't want to _think_ what could happen to him.

Unfortunately, it seemed she had thought about this for too long, because Eren noticed. 'What's the matter?'

'Nothing. Try and not get too excited when holding a pistol tomorrow.'

'Annie...?' Eren stepped forwards. 'If you want to say something, then say it. I have all day.'

'I don't think you do, Eren.'

Frowning, Eren hesitated before speaking. He wasn't so sure if he liked what she was implying. 'What does that mean?'

By his tone, Annie realised she had angered him a little. 'You asked me why I'm here. Why are _you_ here?'

Eren opened his mouth to say something, then quickly shut it. He narrowed his brows at her, and looked offended and betrayed even. Then he finally found his voice. 'I'm here because I want to kill those _bastards_! I want their blood _dripping_ from my hands, and I want to kill _all of them_. That's why I'm here. That's why I'm supposed to be here. Why? What are your reasons? Because your father _forced_ you into doing it? Tell me, how is that honourable?'

'How is being controlled by your anger honourable? Corporal Levi was reluctant to give you a chance with the 3D Manoeuvre because you're furious all the time.'

'I have a _reason_ to be furious all the time!'

'Which gives you a reason to rise above it, Eren.' Annie could _feel_ his rage bouncing off her, but she wasn't afraid. There was very little Eren could do to her. 'How do you expect to improve if you're constantly pinned down by your anger?'

'My anger does _not_ hinder me!'

Annie didn't reply, because she knew even _he_ wasn't convinced by his words. Eren looked pathetic, standing in front of her, teeth jarred, tears threatening to escape his eyes, but he wouldn't cry in front of her. He wouldn't give Annie the pleasure. Fuck her! Fuck her to Hell! How dare she confront him like this? Was she trying to change his mind?

Was she trying to get rid of him?

'I don't care,' he said, slowly. 'I just want to fight.'

Annie shook her head. 'No, you don't.'

He hated how she said that without showing an ounce of sympathy or regret or anything. She might as well be a robot, uncaring and cold. 'What do you know about anger anyway? Anger is an _emotion_ and, as far as I'm concerned, you don't have any.' Eren stormed past her, snatched his jacket and furiously stomped out of the training hall.

The door slammed shut behind him.

* * *

**author's note**: I'm really beginning to slip in my own headcanons (relevant for _this_ alternative universe) now. For example, Eren's motives and anger issues might seem somewhat different to the canon-verse, but hopefully people can still recognise his character. A lot of development will happen with the characters in this story. Now that Mikasa and Levi have their place in the story, I shall be writing a lot more about them. A little bit about Annie's mysterious background has been revealed (if you recognise the quote, then kudos, I'm so imaginative, aren't I?).

Note about the 3D Manoeuvre Gear: I didn't want to write up a repeat of the training in the manga/anime. However, due to Levi's ethics on training with the Gear, and how he treated Eren (in _this_ universe), you'll know that the events in the manga/anime have not been repeated. Oh, and whether or not you want to see Levi's actions as cruel and heartless is entirely up to you. Either the guy was caring and knew that Eren wouldn't stand a chance out there if he didn't control himself, or he was just being an asshat. Levi isn't in black and white, _especially_ when it comes to his soldiers. (Know that he _always_ has their interests at heart, though.)

**Queen of Narnia49**: Hello! It's been a very long time, but I'm really happy to see you're reading my works. I'm sorry to say that I won't be updating my _Fullmetal Alchemist_ stories anytime soon. Maybe in the future I might, but right now, I highly doubt it. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

**unblockabletree4**: Don't worry. I'll try as hard as I can to make sure even the side characters get enough attention in this story. Levi and Mikasa are crucial to the storyline, after all, and I'm not shipping them in this story for the sake of shipping them. Their relationship will develop a lot more than it does in the canon-verse, for a variety of reasons (different circumstances for one). Thank you for reading and reviewing!

**silvermice12**: Thank you for reading the last chapter, and for your enthusiastic review.

**Green Phire**: Hello there! I'm thrilled you think I've done an-okay job on the whole alternative universe setting; it's tricky, and it's even more tricky to make the AU plausible, but thanks for saying I've pulled it off. Your review was wonderful and honestly made my day when I read it. I'm shocked, really, that people are sending in such positive, meaty reviews. It's so encouraging and inspiring. I hope you like this chapter, and there _will_ be Levi/Mikasa happening later on! I like to take my time with the development of the characters' relationships, but I didn't tag the story as Levi/Mikasa for no reason. ;)

**[ Guest (1) ]**: Cheers for saying Annie is in character, and thank you for your lovely review!

**[ Cyborg ]**: Nope, the Titans do not exist in this story. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

**[ Guest (2) ]**: Thank you so much!

**Lycopene**: Hey there. I'm already talking to you about this story through private messages, but I just wanted to mention you on here, and say thank you for your support.

**Vaegtersang**: And the same to you, as well! Honestly, I really appreciate the amount of time you're putting into these reviews.

**Mirazel**: Hehe, another Levi/Mikasa fan, eh? Thank you for your wonderful review, and I'm glad you think the story is going well so far. Alternative universes can be hard, but knowing my readers are enjoying what I've written so far means a huge deal to me.


	4. Break In

Habits  
**Chapter 4.**

* * *

_All he could remember was their faces. Their terrifying faces. How they looked at him, how clear and bright their eyes were. Eren could only stare in horror and awe. One of them had removed the mask covering his mouth, and he was handsome, and young. For a moment, he looked sympathetic while he watched Eren stare at him. His eyes had softened, and Eren wondered if he might let him go, change his mind, remove the rope around his mother's wrists and let them run free._

_But then he chuckled softly, and knelt down before him. A warm hand raised Eren's chin, and the man smiled. 'I have a daughter about the same age as you. Maybe you two will meet each other one day.' Afterwards, he stood to his feet and turned his back on Eren. The boy was dragged away by the two men holding him. Their grip on him was hard, and Eren screamed for his mother, and he wanted to tell her to run, to run away, but she wasn't able to. _

_Eren scrunched his eyes closed. When he heard her yells of protest, her screams, the laughter and taunts of men, Eren tried to break free. He tried with all his might, until suddenly something hard and heavy smacked him over the head. Blackness slowly clouded his vision and Eren fell into a deep state of unconscious. His mother stopped screaming._

* * *

'Eren!'

Footsteps. Hurried, frantic footsteps.

'Eren!' A woman was calling for him.

Another person was yelling orders.

_Blast_! Splinters of wood cut Eren's cheek and he grimaced, slowly opening his eyes.

'Oi, Jeagar.' This voice was calmer, controlled. A man's voice. A strong hand grabbed Eren by the scruff of his collar and dragged him up. Wide awake, Eren looked at his offender. Levi made a "hm" noise, and chucked him to the side. 'We're being attacked. Somehow, those bastards slipped in through the wall. You know what that means...?'

Eren blinked, and then it hit him. The valeguards had managed to break in. Levi threw a large, black gun Eren's way.

'That's an MP5. A bit too advanced for a kid like you, but there's no time. Get your ass out there.' Without waiting for a reply, Levi brushed past him, a similar weapon also in hand. Eren swallowed, and was about to follow, when suddenly he was blown back when one side of the room exploded. Smacking his head into the wall, Eren struggled to his feet and hurried out.

His ears were ringing, and he wiped blood off his cheek which he knew didn't belong to him. Once he was on the training field, everything was a blur, a mess. It was hard to decipher who was a soldier, and who wasn't. Corpses lay rotting on the ground, and mangled bodies reached out to him for help. Eren stopped breathing. Someone ran past, accidentally colliding into him, and another person almost bumped into him, before being shot in the head.

There wasn't any time for Eren to respond. He toppled backwards when the dead soldier fell onto him. Quickly shoving the body aside, Eren found his feet again, and searched. He searched for something to do. An enemy to kill, a wounded soldier to help. But, soon, he found himself running. Running for what, he wasn't sure. They were being attacked. He had to do something. Where did Levi go? Where was Mikasa? And Annie? What about Armin?

That was when he saw one. A fit, lean man, dressed completely in black. His trench coat was splattered in blood, and Eren watched while he stabbed a soldier's face again and again with his knife. Eren yelled, and dashed forwards, levelling his gun and then he fired. Bullets sprayed at the valeguard, and hit him. Eren only aimed for his chest but left the man to die in agony on the ground.

'Mikasa!' She was there, currently escorting two soldiers to shelter. She whipped her head around to where he was, eyes wide.

'You're here! I left you with Corporal Levi––'

'What the fuck is going on?' Eren said, heart pounding against his chest. He ducked slightly when there was another blast from nearby.

Mikasa shook her head. 'I don't know. One moment it was quiet, and the next a siren went off and people were being shot–– Eren, please take these men to the shelter close by. I need to help Corporal Levi.'

'What? I need to help, too.'

'No, you must do this.'

Eren was about to retort, but there wasn't any time to discuss this over. Growling in irritation, he took the soldiers from Mikasa, and watched while she hurried in the opposite direction. Levi must have ordered her to accompany him. That asshole. Wait, why was Eren angry with _Levi_? It wasn't his fault this had happened. Damn it. _Fuck_.

Passing the wounded men to a nurse at the shelter, Eren dashed outside again, and caught side of three valeguards slaughtering four men. Eren skidded to a halt when one caught sight of him. In a flash, a dagger scraped Eren's cheek. Blood trickled from the wound, and he knew if he had moved less than an inch to his right he would have been killed. The valegaurd was angry to discover he missed. Eren realised he was about to use the gun in his hands, and quickly aimed with his own.

A hot, sharp sensation stung his chest. Eren yelped, dropping the gun. Suddenly he couldn't work his arms, and his knees collapsed beneath him. Looking upwards, he watched while the valeguard reloaded his gun, stepping closer and closer––

Then he disappeared.

It was a green blur, and it looked like it was flying. A man, a soldier. A cord hung from his belt, the other end attached to somewhere else. The body of the valeguard fell from the man's hands and smashed into one of the rooftops. Eren slowly found his feet, hand pressed to his bloody chest. The green blur dropped down in front of him.

'Kid, you'd better move!'

'Yes, sir...' Eren mumbled, snatching his gun from the ground. However, when he tried to run, he found he couldn't. The agony in his chest made it hard to breathe and move. Eren groaned, pressing down on the bullet wound harder.

Of course he didn't get very far. Before he could defend himself, Eren was smacked to the ground. His nose felt like it had been ripped open and he gasped, suddenly coughing up blood. Someone heavy straddled his hips, and with the end of his gun hit Eren across the face. Then he hit him again. And again. It felt as if Eren's face was being torn in half; he couldn't move, he was being beaten to death. And this man was enjoying himself.

_Such an easy kill_.

No... _No, I can't die like this_. Eren turned his head, saw the valeguard looking down on him, reached up and grabbed his face between his hands. Then Eren squeezed. He squeezed so hard his fingernails dug into the man's mask, and into his flesh. The valeguard started to scream. Eren pulled down, and he could feel the man's flesh tearing. And Eren thought of his mother, the man who knelt down in front of him, smiling so warmly, so _lovingly_.

So _sadly_.

"_I have a daughter about the same age as you..."_

The valeguard retreated, rolling off Eren and searched for his pistol. Eren was one step ahead though. The MP5 was in hand, and he shot.

He didn't wait for the body to fall. Eren remembered, his anger returned, and the pain in his chest ebbed away. He needed to find Armin, and make sure he was okay. And he needed to find Annie and Mikasa too. Where _was_ Annie? How could she vanish so easily? He would have found her by now, surely. Unless... No, he couldn't think like that.

Eren dashed onwards, and fired bullets at any valeguard in sight. 'Armin!' He called, but to no avail. 'Mikasa!' He stopped, swivelled around, breathing heavily. 'Annie...?'

Faces of the dead greeted him, and the stench of death reached his nostrils. Eren suddenly saw a valeguard racing over to him, but he had no time to fire. In an instant, Eren was hit across the head, kneed in the stomach. Two other valeguards hurried over, tied Eren's wrists behind his back with a piece of wire, and then shoved something hard and cold into his mouth.

'I hope you like the taste of grenade, sweetheart.' Laughter, and they left the boy alone, biting down on the grenade cap for dear life.

* * *

When she reached Levi, she had to ask him what he was doing. Two 3D Manoeuvre Gears were in his possession and, without a word, he threw one to her. Mikasa stared in disbelief. He couldn't be serious. She had barely trained. How could he expect her to do this? 'No, sir. I'm not ready.'

'There isn't time for _ready_, Ackerman.' Levi was sweating, but he appeared so calm and serene. Clearly this invasion was barely anything compared to what he had endured in the past. 'Strap that on, and follow me.'

Hands shaking a little, Mikasa obeyed her commanding officer's orders. Soon, the 3D Manoeuvre Gear was on correctly and she hurried after Levi.

Fortunately, they didn't bump into any of the valeguards on their way. Levi shot upwards, the cord of his Gear grabbing onto a rooftop to one of the training halls. Once he landed on the roof, he looked down at his subordinate. 'Try it. Remember what I taught you yesterday? It's easy.'

If Levi _trusted_ her to do this, she could do it. Mikasa braced herself for the impact, and shot the cord upwards. It latched onto the rooftop and she quickly joined her commander. Levi passed her a knife, and a gun. It was fairly large, but she was able to manage it. When she looked at him, she couldn't read his expression. She wanted to know what he was thinking. If this was all a big joke to him, or if he might possibly be afraid.

After all, they could both die out here if they weren't careful.

'You know what to do. Kill any valeguard in sight. Mercy isn't an option.'

Mikasa nodded. 'I'd never even dream of offering such, sir.'

'I know. Good luck, Ackerman.' Levi jumped off the rooftop, and used the 3D Manoeuvre in order to glide in the air. This gave him the opportunity to take the valeguards by surprise. Mikasa watched while he grabbed one, brought him up into the air, and stabbed him through the chest. Carelessly, Levi dropped him back to the ground and searched for his next target.

Like a bird of prey. A majestic hawk.

Walking to the edge of the roof, Mikasa searched for a valeguard who had left himself open. She found one, and followed Levi's movements. Jumping off the edge, she fell, but quickly shot the cord upwards. The air was rushed out of her when she zoomed forwards. It was so fast she was shocked when she saw the valeguard was only inches away. Reaching out, she grabbed the man by his coat, used the dagger Levi gave her and stabbed him in the forehead.

The man's eyes rolled back, his head lopsided, and she dropped him.

And even though death was singing in her ears, even though she might die, Mikasa felt a thrill. A thrill she had never felt in her life. Not for a very, very long time. The cord was aimed perfectly at another rooftop, and her body was dragged upwards into the air. She could feel the cord digging into her skin, marking her, but the pain wasn't noticeable.

Within just a couple of minutes, she managed to kill seven valeguards without their knowing. But she needed to stop. Her feet landed gracefully on top of one of the rooftops, and she caught her breath. The 3D Manoeuvre was more exhausting than she first assumed. It pressed down on her lungs, and the rush made it hard to breathe.

Someone landed nearby, and she shot upwards, her dagger at the ready.

Levi grabbed her arm before she attacked.

'... it's done.'

Mikasa frowned at him, then finally she could hear. So absorbed in the movements of the 3D Gear, so obsessed in mercilessly killing those bastards, she wasn't aware of anything else. Now, noise filtered in through her ears.

Silence. Sweet, blissful, awful silence. There were no more gunshots, no more screams.

Catching Levi's gaze, she expected him to say something else, but he simply released her arm and walked to the other edge of the roof. 'Believe me, that was easy. That was nothing.' Placing a hand on his hip, he peered at her from behind his shoulder. 'You're ready for what's out there, Ackerman. By the end of the month, you'll be in my squad.'

It puzzled her how he could be talking about _this_, just after so many people had died? Didn't he want to wait and find out how the valeguards broke in through the wall? It was as if he didn't feel anything. 'That was quick...' was all she could say.

'Like I said: that was nothing. Just a slip-up. Those were not valeguards.'

Mikasa looked at him sharply. 'What?'

'I've fought them before, and what we handled were... well, pawns. Whoever organised this invasion either rushed into it, or didn't want to be a part of it. Tell me, why would you pick your worst soldiers for something so important?' Levi glanced down. He saw survivors and soldiers either searching for any wandering valeguards or wounded men. And he saw men and women sobbing, over corpses or over nothing. A pitiful, pathetic sight. 'It was a test.'

Silent, Mikasa watched him intently. A shiver ran up her spine when she realised what he was implying.

Whoever organised this invasion was someone who _they_ thought was an ally. It was an inside job. Someone on their side had betrayed them.

'Who?' She didn't expect Levi to know, but he seemed to appreciate her question. 'Who would do such a thing?'

Levi turned to her, and, for once, he didn't appear bored or exhausted. A small, tiny smile reached his lips. Despite the horrific circumstances, Levi was _thrilled_. 'I guess that's up to us to find out, Ackerman.'

* * *

Blood pooled into his curled palms where the wire had dug into Eren's wrists from his struggling. His teeth bit down hard onto the grenade cap, and sweat trickled down his forehead. There weren't anymore gunshots, but no one had found him in this position yet. His gums were beginning to ache, sting from the amount of pressure he was putting on the grenade. He wanted to yell for help, but wouldn't dare open his mouth, not even move his lips.

Oh, _oh how he hated them_. Those pieces of shits. They had laughed at him. Eren barely had a chance to make a move, and they laughed at him, nearly killed him, and then left him in such a humiliating position. More than anything, Eren wanted to break their necks. How dare they do this to him? How dare they hurt him more after everything they had done?

They dare break into the wall–– Well, Eren would _dare_ do the same to them.

If he survived.

Glancing to the ground, he waited. He couldn't snap the wire around his wrists, it was too tight. The sun was murder, glaring down at him. Hair stuck to his sweaty forehead, and his clothes were soaked. Biting down on the cap was becoming too much. He needed to open his mouth, ease his poor jaw. Relax himself. His muscles were tense, and he was so angry.

Now, it was all very clear why Levi refused him to fight.

Now, it was all very clear why Annie criticised him.

"_What do you know about anger anyway?"_ Eren closed his eyes, clenching his fists. He remembered every word he said to her last night, how he screamed at her so pathetically. And he screamed and fought because he knew she was right, and he couldn't handle that. He couldn't handle the fact she was right; that she knew him better than he knew himself.

God, they barely knew one another to begin with.

"_Anger is an __**emotion**__ and, as far as I'm concerned, you don't have any."_

How wrong he had been.

_I'm sorry, Annie_.

And here he was, biting down on a grenade cap, waiting to die and to kill everyone else around him. Because he was weak. Because he had acted out in his anger. Because he _overestimated_ his own abilities. He underestimated the valeguards and now he was stuck like this.

Eren gasped in surprise when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Help, finally! But when he looked up, his heart sunk, and he slumped his shoulders. It was a valeguard. All he could see was his eyes –– a clear, faint blue. Like the man he met all of those years ago. The one who removed his mask and smiled at him. Chuckled and then murdered his mother.

And now, it was his turn to die.

But the valeguard did nothing. He watched him for a moment, studying him, his amazing eyes examining Eren's face. Then, he reached forwards, a gloved hand taking the grenade from the boy's mouth. Eren exhaled, free. His mouth relaxed, and he stared at the valeguard in disbelief. The valeguard pressed down on the cap, his eyes so clear, but so illegible.

Eren said nothing. There was nothing _to_ say. They were both silent, and he watched the valeguard walk away, and soon disappear into the dusty atmosphere. Eren was still for a moment longer, before he, too, found his feet.

Never was it known for a valeguard to offer mercy. They were all animals, and Eren hated every single one of them for that reason.

Deciding to keep quiet about what he experienced, Eren, trembling, searched for any survivors.

* * *

Unclipping the cords from her body, Mikasa inhaled slowly, finally released. She walked past a field of bodies, paid no attention to the nurses and doctors kneeling down beside wounded men. It was when she found a valeguard, blood oozing through its black coat, did she stop. Crouching, she tugged at the valeguard's mask and pulled upwards.

Mikasa didn't know what she was expecting, but was shocked to discover the valeguard was very human. A man, possibly mid-twenties. A good-looking male, neatly combed, blond hair. There was a path of dried blood from his lips to his jawline. He had been shot. Straightening herself, Mikasa continued her way, when she heard sobbing from nearby. Turning, she saw a hunched over figure, pressed against a wall, head down.

It didn't take her long to realise who this was. Armin. The boy Eren had been speaking to on the training grounds the other day. Mikasa proceeded over, and stopped before him. She didn't know what to say. Armin was crying. And he had every reason to cry.

_But he shouldn't_.

The blond sensed her approach, and raised his head, quickly wiping away the tears streaming down his face. 'Don't look––' He hiccuped. 'Don't look at me like that.'

Mikasa looked away. 'Why are you crying?' It was a stupid question; she knew why he was crying, but _how_ could he cry? Did Armin just collapse in the midst of battle and burst into tears? The thought irritated her immensely.

'Because no else is,' he replied, his voice stronger. '... How did they get in?'

Mikasa lowered her gaze. 'I don't know.'

'We need to know how,' Armin insisted, standing up. He wiped away a few stray tears. 'We can't let them get in again. We lost so many.'

'Mikasa! Armin?' Both turned to Eren's voice.

He was running awkwardly towards them, a limp in his step. Mikasa gasped and rushed forwards, wrapping her arms around the back of his neck and pulling him into a hug. Eren widened his eyes slightly in surprise, but smiled anyway. 'I'm so glad you're okay,' Mikasa said, releasing him slightly. She then spotted his bullet wound. 'Eren!'

It shocked him how he forgot. Now that Mikasa reminded him, the pain returned, and the loss of blood began to take effect. Feeling lightheaded and queasy, Eren cursed to himself and nearly fell to his knees. However, Armin shot over and brought Eren's arm around his shoulders. Mikasa did the same, and together they gradually made their way to the hospital.

None of them were that surprised to find the building crowded, queues running outside the doors. Eren sighed, and forced himself out of his friends' grip. Plopping down onto his backside, he watched Mikasa tear at her jacket and wrap a strip tightly around his wound. 'That should stop the bleeding for now. Come on, Eren. You must keep your strength up.'

'I will...' Eren glanced over at Armin, then Mikasa, then Armin again. 'Have you two seen Annie?'

'Leonhardt?' Armin queried, raising his brows. Mikasa and he exchanged looks. 'No.'

Eren tried to ignore the sinking sensation in his stomach. Mikasa caught on, though. She squeezed his shoulder affectionately. 'I'll go look for her. Armin?'

'I can take care of Eren... Come on, we need to queue up...' With reluctance, Eren was helped to his feet by Armin and they slowly made their way to the queue. Eren peered over his shoulder and watched while Mikasa hurried away in search of Annie.

_Please, please be all right_, he thought to himself. _Please_.

* * *

No matter where she looked, Mikasa couldn't find Annie anywhere. On several occasions she had to postpone her search in order to help wounded men onto stretchers, or to fetch some medical supplies for nurses. She was out for nearly six hours by the time she concluded Annie wasn't around. Mikasa initially thought Annie had got injured in the battle and so was probably in hospital. Maybe she and Eren had found each other.

Still, Mikasa couldn't help but feel uneasy. During the invasion, she didn't spot Annie at all. Of course Mikasa couldn't assume anything which such a lack of evidence. So what if she didn't see Annie? She didn't see a variety of people she knew at the battle. It was all a blur, and so fast. Anyone would have missed her watch.

Mikasa frowned to herself. Yes, _maybe_ she simply didn't catch Annie at the time, but... _but why didn't she feel convinced yet_? Mikasa had been sceptical about the girl from day one. Annie would return from somewhere late at night (insisting she had only been training which was plausible, considering her exhausted state), but she also left very early, at sunrise. Their last conversation didn't go down very well, and Mikasa decided she should probably try a more mature, careful approach the next time she started querying Annie about her whereabouts.

Although she didn't want to admit it, Annie _was_ an important soldier in the army. She was brilliant with combat –– better than a handful of superior officers at that. So, Mikasa had every reason to ask where she was during the invasion. If she had got attacked, or fled, or simply wasn't there.

_Simply wasn't there_.

'Hm,' Mikasa shoved a hand in her pocket.

Turning around she began to return to the hospital. On her way, she saw Levi from afar, and he was in a very intense discussion with several superior officers. Mikasa couldn't decipher what they were talking about, and when Levi caught her watching, she quickly glanced away. She might have her suspicions about Annie, but it wasn't long until Levi would transfer her to outside the wall. Due to this, her investigation would have to end. Preferably, recruits should have at least three years of training, but time was running short.

That much was proved when the wall was invaded.

Mikasa wasn't one for flatteries. In fact, she rarely received them, even from her adoptive parents. Ever since her biological parents' deaths, Mikasa had been _odd_. Even she could tell the difference. In order to feel safer, Mikasa kept very much to herself, and sometimes kept a good distance from Eren if she felt uncomfortable. She wondered if Levi might understand. He seemed to have endured quite a harsh past himself.

Or was that the reason he saw eye-to-eye with her so easily?

When she returned to the hospital, she was pleased to find Eren no longer queuing up. Entering, she asked a nurse behind the receptionist desk which ward Eren Jaegar was in, and was directed a couple of metres away. The hospital was crowded, and some soldiers didn't even have the luxury of a bed, seated in chairs of even on the floor. The place stunk of sweat, medical supplies, and blood. It was awful.

Passing several beds, she reached one at the end of the ward, and found Eren asleep, a clean sheet over him. Armin was there, and he hurried over to meet her. 'They removed the bullet and bandaged him up. He just needs to rest now.'

Mikasa didn't reply.

'Did you find Annie?'

Looking at the blond, Mikasa shook her head. 'No.'

When Eren would finally wake up, she wasn't sure what to tell him. Hopefully, though, Eren wouldn't take Annie's mysterious disappearance as heavily as Mikasa.

* * *

**author's note**: I can imagine what you're all thinking about Annie. There will be differences to the canon-verse, though, so I shan't bore you with repetitive details. Eren might have appeared weak in this chapter, but I wanted to illustrate just how powerful the valeguards were (and they weren't even the best, like Levi said). Also, Eren is still a recruit, he hasn't had a lot of training. Mikasa is a natural with the 3D Manoeuvre Gear, but that is her only speciality currently. In time, the characters will develop and discover what they're good at.

Personally, I felt my writing wasn't very good in chapter, but honestly, I can't figure out how else I can improve it. Sorry for the crap quality, guys.

**Kamil the Awesome**: Thanks very much!

**unblockabletree**: Your theory is interesting, and plausible too. You'll just have to wait and find out what happens. ;) As for the ages of the characters, I should probably make this clearer, but they're eighteen and upwards. To me, that seems the most appropriate age to join the army. I will go into further detail about this in later chapters, but below that age, I think children would have a sort of pre-training before joining the army, so that they're prepared.

**White Ink Penpal**: Thanks for what you said about the characterisation –– it helps, and I do feel a lot more _free_ when challenging some of the characterisations in the canon-verse. The situation is somewhat different to what happens in the manga, so I do think it's important to appreciate that and analyse whether the characters would be different in some ways. Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!

**Vaegtersang**: Cheers for the review! I'm glad you liked the previous chapter. :)

**ReaderWriterPoet**: Thank you!

**MBScavenger1498**: I do intend to give _all _the characters a lot of character development –– particularly Mikasa. Thank you for reading and reviewing!

**Kimiilnkk**: Wow, thank you for such sweet feedback!


	5. Author's Note

**AUTHOR'S** **NOTE**.

Hi, everyone. Unfortunately I am discontinuing this story mainly because it didn't feel _right_ to me. However I haven't abandoned some of the key ideas I was going to introduce. You can find me (and my other Eren/Annie story which is not AU) on my other FanFiction account. The username is impavid-fool (and the story is called _Crown_). There shall be a link for the account on my profile. I am really sorry if I've caused any annoyance or disappointment, but hopefully I can make it up to you with this new story I'm currently writing. Thanks very much for your support, guys.


End file.
